I take my choices in video games seriously. Although their concept of morality is usually nothing more than a ruse to present players with a common thread to characters, I still care about the illusion it generates–repeatedly finding myself entangled in the web of choices that are presented. Moreover, I always find a sense of satisfaction in doing right by my character and surrounding world. I even go as far as to debate both the mundane and monumental at great length before taking any action.

Early on in Rockstar’s most recent release, Red Dead Redemption, John Marston walks into a saloon where he happens upon a man whose wife has left him. In a continuation of an earlier quest, the man explains that he has information to spill if the price is right. In-between sips of gin, he offers Marston the chance to either find his wife and bring her to her senses or to slip him some money instead.

While both choices would move the story forward, they would do it from opposite ends of the moral spectrum although which end each task belonged to was unclear. Erroneously, I chose to help him and would immediately end up regretting this.

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It’s 1993. I’m playing on my NES. I’m about to fight Bowser at the end of Super Mario Bros. It’s time for dinner, however, and my dad has called into the living room probably five or six times. I don’t want to eat because I’m about to finally save Princess Toadstool, but I’m seven and I have no choice so I put it on pause.

When I come back, after eating and doing the dishes, my console’s turned off. I stare in horror at my dad who is now watching television. And because the original game didn’t let you save due to technological limitations, I find myself back at the first level when I finally turn the console back on. There are eight more worlds left to go and I will never get close to the end again.

Games have been flirting with their portrayal of failure and game overs for years–they’ve been dodging the subject of death for even longer. Arguments have been made for and against severe consequences in the digital world for over two decades. Each game treats the topic differently. Some don’t let you save often if ever, others put a checkpoint around every bend. Sometimes, a game over screen means starting from the beginning while other times it just means restarting from an earlier level. And, in the case of Super Mario Bros., saving and thus restarting without penalty wasn’t possible until later titles in the series–the game over screen was permanent, whether it was reached by personal failure or an external error. When Mario failed, it was all over.

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I won’t be playing Alan Wake for the XBox 360 any time soon. When my 360 died at the beginning of this month, I was given the choice of either paying to repair it or buying a new console. I chose the new console option, figuring it was time for an upgrade, but I couldn’t decide if I wanted to get a PlayStation 3 or stick with the XBox 360. I debated both choices for a few days because I like Microsoft and I like Sony equally; I support whatever gets me the most titles and the best experience. And while I believe both consoles do these things equally, I’d heard very good things about Naughty Dog’s Uncharted series and had yet to experience either, so I purchased a PS3.

I don’t regret my purchase, although I do regret being unable to play Alan Wake.

But more on that later.

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